If everyone has one story which defines them,
which shapes who they are,
then this is mine.
This story is about my childhood.
My sister and me.
Most of all, this story is about my mother,
the nightclub singer.
I write it over and over,
trying to understand her,
and all the things that she did.
In 1964, my mother followed
an Australian sailor to Melbourne.
She and Uncle Bill got married.
Look at the camera.
Smile.
A week later she left him.
Wah! Hong Mei Wah!
What are you doing in Sydney?
I've come to see you, Uncle Wu.
For the next seven years,
we drifted,
from place to place
and from uncle to uncle.
But somehow, none of my mother's plans worked out.
By 1971,
we had one option left
to go back to Melbourne;
back to Uncle Bill.
That year,
That was the year our lives changed forever.
Why such a long face?
Why do we have to move all the time?
This is a new life. You should be happy.
Yes, ma.
Not "yes ma, no ma".
Be happy!
Don't!
Where is he?
There he is.
I wasn't sure if...
Thank you.
Everything go Okay? No problems?
No problem.
Good
I'm really glad you made it.
Hello Uncle Bill.
Not uncle. Father.
He your father.
You must be tired.
Thank you.
I didn't get a chance to tell you,
but there's someone else living there as well.
It's only temporary, you know, for a short time.
You have girlfriend?
No, no, nothing like that... no...
just, I'm away so much with the navy.
I needed someone to look after the place.
So my mum moved in.
Hello.
You let me know if there's anything you need.
Thank you, Aunty Norma.
Grandma. Thank you, grandma.
Golden Princess attacks the Jade Warrior
Hai!
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
Make yourself at home.
You know, anything you need.
I reckon we can work things out.
You look good.
You good man.
You take care of us.
Ma!
Blood too hot. Must make cool.
You right?
We make house beautiful.
Hey Ma, I found this.
Ah, clever boy.
From China. Very expensive.
Thank you.
There's a letter for you on the dresser.
From the Department.
Thanks.
Dede!
That door jamb needs fixing.
You'll have to get some wood putty.
You didn't have to...
How's dinner?
Very nice.
Tell the old cow the food is good.
This food is delicious, Grandma.
Yeah.
I feel sick.
She try poison us. True!
Tomorrow we get real food.
No more eat old cow food.
How long are we staying?
Always stay.
This our home now.
Yeah, but that's what you always say.
Cheeky boy.
You naughty tonight.
When old cow go,
you two can have your own room, eh?
Be like Australian.
Your mother make everything good, eh?
Oh sorry, sorry. Sorry.
I've decided to read the whole encyclopedia.
So when I finish, I'll know everything.
You're weird.
What are you writing?
Bet you it's about boys.
You go how long?
Four months, tops. It'll go quickly.
Your mother? She stay?
Look, I know it's not what we planned,
but it'll work out. I promise.
I'll send more as soon as I can.
Do you need a menu?
Hello, how are you?
You have to order from the waitress.
I don't want what you serve Australians.
I want to see your real Chinese food.
Is your tofu fresh?
You have to try it.
Who are you?
I've just moved here from Hong Kong.
You don't sound like you come from Hong Kong.
I grew up in Shanghai.
My Cantonese isn't very good.
You speak with a Shanghai accent.
Table five is in a hurry.
You're from Hong Kong, aren't you?
Where did you live? Kowloon.
I lived there too. Which street?
Tsim Sha Tsui.
So we were neighbours.
I lived in Hau Fook Street.
My name is Rose.
I'm Ah Yin, call me Winnie.
Joe. My name is Joe.
Eat up.
Shao Wah...
Yes ma.
You write to him today,
he has to send more money.
How can we live on what he left us?
He promised he'd take care of us.
Hurry up, lazy bones.
Where are we going?
How would I know?
Jade Warrior attacks the Golden Princess, Hai!
Dag.
Hai! Hai!
Look at you, Rose, as beautiful as your name.
I've brought my children to eat your delicious food.
Good, we're about to eat.
This is the owner, Bing.
This is Hong Mei Gwei.
She's the famous singer
I told you about.
An honour to meet you, a star in our restaurant.
Come join us.
We don't want to be any trouble.
Please. There's plenty of room.
You're my guests today.
If you insist.
Thank Uncle.
Thank you, Uncle.
Chan was the head chef at the Golden Goose in Kowloon.
One of my favourite restaurants.
That's where all the nightclub singers used to go.
You have good taste.
Frances Yip loved my salty chicken.
Kim came from Taishan.
Hello Aunty.
You're a village girl, just like my grandmother.
Here's our apprentice cook with
his specialty, ginger fish.
Nice to see you, Rose.
Nice seeing you, Joe.
I sang this song at the Phoenix Club.
Don't wake up the old cow.
Pour Mama a drink.
Ma, you have to go to bed now.
One more drink.
Go to sleep.
Go to bed.
Why can't I come with you?
You don't want to come. Too boring.
Go to park. Play with friends.
I don't have any friends.
Ai-ya! The air in this country is too dry.
Make skin like paper.
When a woman gets old, no one wants her any more.
She is useless. Like a dog with three legs.
Your mother beautiful?
Yes, Mama.
Don't worry, Dede.
I'll be your friend.
Yeah, but you're my mother... How embarrassing's that?
You have to grow up to be big and strong.
So you can take care of your mother!
Look after her when she's ugly and old.
Take care of her.
They raided my place last night.
Immigration took two men away.
What will happen to them?
They'll be deported.
I was lucky.
I was playing mahjong with Bing.
But I can't stay there any more.
It's too risky.
Where will you go?
I don't know.
Maybe Sydney.
Bing will find me a job there.
Are you leaving me?
Don't you like me?
If lmmigration catches me,
they'll send me back to Hong Kong.
It's different for you.
You have citizenship.
Number eight please, Sir.
Number eight; good luck girls.
Which one vowel does not occur in the word, 'accustomed'?
'l.'
-Yes! -Right.
Who is Britain's heir apparent?
Prince Charles.
Right.
In which sport is the expression `The bell lap' used?
Running.
Trotting.
Yes, we'll accept that, or running.
Which heavenly body is referred
to by the Greek prefix...
Hello Ma.
This Joe. My auntie's son.
Just move here from Hong Kong.
He have nowhere to stay.
Hello, Auntie.
Only stay few day.
He sleep in back...
I write my husband. He say Okay.
It's not my house.
Hello.
Remember Uncle Joe?
Where are we?
I don't know.
Just drive.
I'm bored.
Read your comic.
Ma, I'm bored.
When I was a girl,
I brushed my mother's hair every morning.
Those were the happiest times for me.
Let me brush your hair.
You're growing up.
Be a woman soon.
You must study hard. Understand?
Don't make the same mistakes as your mother.
...get happy...
You like?
Sugar cane. Very juicy.
I've sent a letter to Bill.
I've asked him to ring me.
Hard to ring from boat.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Bye-bye. Bye.
She go soon.
Here is better than a boarding house.
You're a crazy woman.
You cannot escape my jade sword, Stinky Pearl.
Ha, Jade Warrior,
your jade sword means nothing against my deadly fans.
Hai! Hai!
Hai! Hai! Hai!
Get out of here, you filth!
You... Chinese. Get out!
After everything he's done for you,
how could you?
What's happening?
Hurry up. Get dressed.
He should never have taken you back.
I warned him.
This is going to break his heart.
Ungrateful, ungrateful.
Haven't you got anything to say for yourself?
I know you can understand me!
What have you got to say? Eh?
Get out!
Why are we leaving?
You work it out.
We rented the place to white people before.
They didn't look after the place.
What's the smell?
Just open the windows.
Give me two weeks' rent,
and you can have it now.
If you rent from Australians,
they'll need your passports, references and bond.
You're lucky to have a friend like me.
Thank you.
This our new home.
I need to talk to him.
Why are you pulling a long face?
I don't have a long face!
Uncle Joe good man.
That's what you said about Uncle Bill.
Ai ya! Cheeky boy!
Uncle Bill not Chinese.
Your mother tries her best.
Not easy for her.
I think I want to be a dentist.
For your birthday.
You like?
Good.
I have to pay the electricity bill tomorrow.
We could go to movies tonight.
Celebrate.
I said I'd play mahjong with Bing.
You played mahjong two nights ago.
That's why I have to play tonight.
How much did you lose?
We can't afford for you to lose at every night.
Why don't you want to stay with us?
You go out every night.
You all depend on me.
I have to work.
I pay the rent, I feed these children.
I'll ring Bing,
tell him that you can't make it.
Stay with us. Stay with me.
Please.
Stay!
Look Ma, I've finished my food.
Don't do that. Put that one there.
Where?
Here.
Can we leave now?
Do you want me to stay with you?
You take the children. I'll be back soon.
We'll wait for you.
No need.
It's your turn.
My luck has gone.
I can talk to Winnie.
She can help us.
I owe too much money.
Come on. She's our friend.
She'll lend us money.
If I take this job,
I'll pay my debts in three months.
If I stay here,
I won't save a cent.
But what about me?
What about my children?
How will they eat?
I'll send you money.
You won't come back!
You'll find someone else.
Why are you doing this to me?
You give me hope, then you take it away.
Don't talk like that.
You don't trust me?
I thought you were different,
you're just like the rest, you bastard!
Come back, come back...
Come back!....
Ma.
Ma, you forgot to turn off the bath!
Ma! Wake up!
Where are you going?
To the hospital. Come on.
I don't want to.
Don't be stupid, Tom, you have to.
I want you to stay.
We have to go.
Get in!
We've to go, love.
I'll ring you from the hospital.
Has she tried to do this before?
Always with pills?
Hey! Wake up.
Where have you been?
Go to bed.
Doctor say, sometime your mother sick in head.
Do things she not mean to.
All I have now are you two.
You are my life.
Dede. Dede...
Dede, you love your mother.
Look after her.
Help her get strong.
Next time if I do something,
you tell me,
You're being a bad mother,
then I promise I wont do this again.
Never.
Ma, I got the best mark in the class for my story.
Here, Ma, your favourite.
I spoke to Bing.
You can come back to the restaurant to work.
Work day time this time with Winnie.
It's more easy.
Hurry up, Tom. We're going to miss the bus.
One sec.
Come on.
Rock music, huh? You like?
It's alright.
Good music for young people.
I guess so.
You, me. We're young people.
Drive you to school, more easy for you.
Thank you, Uncle Joe.
Not Uncle Joe. Just Joe...
Thank you... Joe.
Where have you been?
I drove your children to school.
You don't have to do that.
I thought you wanted me to.
Can you give me a hand?
Wring out these sheets.
Come on boys! Come on, come on.
Spread out. Play your positions.
Hand ball, hand ball.
Who threw that?
Mark it! Mark it!
It's a mark. Yes!
May... Jade Warrior kicked a goal!
Don't you knock?
Why should l, it's my room.
Your sister, very good.
Can play rock'n'roll music!
Two clubs.
Two hearts.
Chan wants me to prepare a banquet.
What time will you be home?
I don't know.
Don't wait for me. Go to sleep yourself.
When I get home, you go to work.
When I go to work, you go to sleep.
I never see you.
I can't talk now.
I have to go, or I'll be late.
Why are you still studying?
You didn't wash the dishes.
I haven't finished my homework yet.
Why not?
Are you stupid?
They gave me extra.
She was playing guitar for Uncle Joe,
that's why she hasn't finished.
Waste your time in the day!
Waste your time at night!
Clean the kitchen!
You look pretty.
Double dagger attack! Hai!
-Dragon claw technique! -Don't.
Tickle, tickle.
Don't!
Ai ya, Rose.
Winnie.
Look at you. You put the rest of us to shame.
I'm glad you're here.
Everyone is looking at me.
You look like a movie star,
even when you wash dishes.
It's good to see you out again, Rose.
Hey, look at your daughter, beautiful like her mother.
You should come and work for me.
We can always use a pretty young waitress.
Maybe next year.
She has to concentrate on her studies first.
Thank Uncle.
Thank you, Uncle.
Should I ring Uncle Bing about the job, ma?
Then we can all work at the restaurant.
Work at night with you. You like that.
We could save up money for a new television.
Why you dress like that?
Like cheap slut.
Show your arms, show your shoulder.
That why Bing want you work.
It was too hot for the cardigan.
Put me to shame. Shame whole family.
Why you talking to her like that?
Work with her then.
When I die, you marry her too.
What are you talking about?
Be better for everyone if I die.
Stop talking rubbish!
Why do you want to go?
You're seeing someone else!
Why are you saying that?
-Nonsense. -I know you are!
You always talk rubbish.
Let go of me. Let go!
If you leave, I'll kill myself.
- I will -Don't you dare.
Don't threaten me!
I will. I've done it before, you know that.
Of course I know.
Listen to me. Listen!
I won't let you go. Please don't leave.
-Don't go. -Let go!
-Let go of me! -I won't let you go.
Kill yourself then.
Go on, do it. Kill yourself!
Everyone will be better off.
Come here.
How many times? Eh?
You little slut.
How can you betray your own mother?
Come over here.
Look at that face. Look at yourself.
This is the face that killed your mother.
Are you proud of yourself? Kill your own mother!
Open the door! I should never have had you.
You've ruined my life.
I should have gotten rid of you.
But few of these creatures can live on the continent itself,
except in summer.
Protected only by fur or feathers,
the rest must retreat to the edge of the ice pack
when winter comes.
For the men on the ice,
this is the loneliest time.
Memories of homes and families become...
Promise me that you won't touch her again.
Then I'll forgive you.
You're crazy.
Promise me you won't touch her,
and you can stay.
Where's May?
She's in the bathroom.
Are you all right? Come out.
Let her rot in there.
Come out! Don't be afraid.
I'm here, nobody can hurt you.
Come out.
Are you all right?
May! May!
Look what you've done.
She's your daughter!
Little man...
be strong, look after your family.
They're all useless. Selfish.
You slave all your life for them then they treat you like this!
You should make her kowtow to you.
Beg for your forgiveness.
Dear God, please look after my sister...
Ma, there's nothing for breakfast.
I brought you some stuff.
So you can study.
Thanks...
I wasn't sure if you wanted to history or geography,
so I brought both.
You should be at school.
School's for retards.
You're a retard.
How's mum?
Still asleep.
Why? What's wrong with her?
I don't know.
Did you ring a doctor?
No.
Tom, you have to watch everything she does.
You know what she's like.
You have to take care of her!
Why should l?
Because she's your mum.
I don't care!
Don't say that!
-It's true, I don't care! -Don't!
-I hate her! -Stop it!
-Shut up! -I wish she was dead!
One heart.
One diamond.
No bid.
Dede.
You won't be long here, right?
Ai ya! You poor mother.
Have such a hard life.
Here's our young guest. Come in.
Hi, little man!
Hello, Uncle Joe.
Not much space, but we work something out.
Ai ya! The crab was bad. Don't go in there.
One day, you will be even more beautiful.
More beautiful than your mother.
I'll never be as beautiful as you.
You must learn to cherish life.
Life is a gift.
I wasn't always like this, Shao Wah.
I want to tell you a story.
Is that all right?
Because I was the youngest girl,
I had the lowliest place in the family.
Stupid girl!
Do you think you can waste our food?
Get out of here!
At your age, I was married off.
His name was Sun.
Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you.
But Mr. Sun was a cruel man.
When I was seventeen years old, I became pregnant.
I had a baby girl.
But I was a child myself.
I didn't know how to take care of a baby.
So my first daughter, your older sister, died.
The year after, I had another daughter.
She died too.
After that,
I had no more children with Mr. Sun.
Eight years passed.
Mr.Sun had taken a concubine.
My family had forgotten about me.
Life was not worth living.
Then one day...
my life changed.
Get his bags.
Wen Xuan was Mr. Sun's youngest brother.
He was injured...
during the war.
Wen Xuan was the opposite of Sun.
Thank you.
He was gentle and kind.
He made me feel happy.
He was the only man I ever loved.
It was a huge scandal,
a disgrace to both our families.
We ran away to Shanghai.
Because of his illness, Wen Xuan couldn't find work.
For years we had nothing.
He started to cough up blood.
Write to your brother.
I've ruined your life.
Don't say that.
I can endure anything
if I am with you.
Nothing is too hard.
Because I could not read,
I didn't know what Xuan really wrote.
I found out later.
He had not asked for money.
He had begged Sun to take me back.
I helped an old woman in the street,
so she gave me a piece of fruit.
Our luck is changing.
I wanted to kill myself, too.
But I was pregnant.
It was you. You saved me.
It's always you. You always save me.
Why do my horses always run slow.
You need to think when you bet.
The more you want to win, the more you lose.
What are you talking about?
You lose more money than I do!
Hey, matey.
Hi, Uncle Bill.
So how have you been, mate?
Good.
The hospital called the Navy social worker.
She arranged for me to take compassionate leave.
Thank you.
And um... Mum's moved out of my house.
So there's room in there, y'know...
if you want.
I don't know what to say.
I wish...
You good man.
I wish things had worked out.
How's the ping pong going, mate?
When we going to have that game?
Thanks. I love moon cakes!
My favourite, too.
Don't tell anyone.
I'm supposed to pretend that the food here is edible.
You'll have to come back tomorrow. Visiting hours are over.
Sorry. Don't know what's right time.
OK, I'll allow a quick visit.
-Hey. -Hi.
Bring you some food.
Don't want you to get skinny.
-Moon cakes. -Thanks
Every day, I think, should I come?
But, no want to cause trouble.
I hear what your mother do.
I feel very bad.
It's not your fault.
Have been thinking about you a lot.
You and your mother, always fighting... no good.
I know.
Maybe, when you get out of hospital,
you need to find new place.
I can help you.
We can find a place together.
You a good girl...
beautiful...
Please go...
Sorry?
Please go...
Please...
You young girl. Need your mother.
You right?
Yes.
I'll give you a call later on tonight.
Help you settle in.
Don't worry yourself.
What've you got in here?
That's a nice bike.
Yeah, my mum got it for my birthday.
She said I'd grow into it.
It's cool.
Yeah,
but what if I don't grow into it.
I'll have to wheel it around for the rest of my life.
Maybe you could ride it on your tippie toes?
You should've seen her,
she was wearing this horrible dressing gown,
it was all open,
you could see her tits hanging out and everything.
She looked like a zombie.
He brings us back here,
then leaves us again.
This happens every time.
This place smells like old woman.
I see her ghost everywhere.
This country is cursed.
We should never have come here.
My old boss in Hong Kong rang me.
He says he misses me very much.
Everyone asks where Rose has gone.
If I return to Hong Kong,
he'll give me back my old job.
We can sell some things and buy the tickets to Hong Kong.
When we get back to Hong Kong, we'll have our own house.
We can have the food we like,
and you can make lots of good friends.
Don't!
I don't want to go to Hong Kong.
-Shut up, Tom! -You go to Hong Kong!
-I hate you! -Stop it!
Go away!
Dede! Dede!
Dede!
Dede?
I know you not mean to say
bad things about your mother.
You good boy. You understand.
Your mother always thinking about you.
Always want best for you.
Don't worry,
your mother make everything good.
Of all the things I remember about my childhood,
this is what I remember the most.
Lift, Tom, lift!
I can't! She's too heavy!
You have to carry her!
Where are you going? May!
It won't cut! It won't cut!
I don't understand
how a mother can do that to her children.
You're right. She fooled us all.
Ready?
Yes...
Yes...That's right...
When?
Yeah, I understand...
May?
You said you wanted her to go away!
I didn't...
Yes, you did! You wanted her to die!
No, I didn't.
We were supposed to save her, Tom.
And now we've got no mother.
After Rose died,
Uncle Bill took an early retirement from the Navy
and came back to look after us.
We lived with him for three years.
Then, completely unexpectedly, on August 16th, 1977,
Uncle Bill, our father,
had a heart attack and died.
May stayed in Melbourne
and got a degree in Psychology.
She works as a School Psychologist.
Although she kept all of our mother's cheongsams,
she's never worn any of them.
I left Melbourne when I was seventeen
and went to study in Canberra.
Literature and Philosophy.
I eventually became a writer.
Perhaps the most unlikely thing about our childhood is that,
in spite of everything,
May and I turned out kind of normal.
But we never talk about our mother.
Neither of us knows what to say.
The night my mother died,
I remember thinking,
I should cry now.
But I didn't.
In All these years,
I've never shed a tear for her.
Instead, I write about her.
Bringing her back to life, over and over.
Trying to understand her.
Or perhaps to punish her.
Or just to remember...
to feel...
to accept...
to forgive...
to love.